“The more ways we have to connect, the more many of us seem desperate to unplug.” Pico Iyer

Maybe it is smart to leave the smart phone out of the sack? What would otherwise be a lovely time in the bedroom turns into sideways glances to your phone and not your lover.

For better, or for worse, our cells phones have changed, well, everything. The time spent at restaurants has been studied and the turn overs are fifteen minutes longer due to the amount of time people look at their phones. Traffic accidents, work efficiency, food choices, book choices, movie choices, mundane facts, allowing google-advice to help raise children, the list goes on and on.

Are you aware that the search engines know you? If you are liberal that is the information that will come to you. You will not learn the other side of an issue because our devices will send us the information it knows we want. Wait a minute!!!! The information we get is skewed? Duh.

However, balanced or imbalanced, the information we are getting is unquestionably biased. The question search engines may not be able to help us with is, how have our cell phone impacted our love life, or our time in the bedroom?

We may in fact have met our perfect mate via our cell phone, and that is wonderful. Yet how often when we are spending quality time with a loved one do we glance down at our device and “check” to see what others are doing? Facebook, snapchat, candy crush, or Instagram, how many followers do we have, how many do we need? How many steps did I take, calories did I eat, how much money did I spend, it is all waiting for me on my smart phone? I mean this is really important information to have at this very second. Or is it?

Have you every check your cell phone…during sex? Be honest. Picked up a call, or glance at something that, well, was not sex related with your partner? These little devices have crept into our world, have they also made it into our bedroom? Is there a sex app that tells you when to be with your partner, or that can put your phones on a sex time out? Bedroom mode….ahhh I see it now.

I am as guilty as anyone else. I have to make an effort to leave behind my phone to walk the neighborhood. Or to set it somewhere else when I have dinner with my partner. When I ride horses it is strictly forbidden to have a phone, for that I am grateful.

I am grateful that I was able to grow up in a time where I remember dial phones at my grandmother’s home. They rang really loud in case you were out doors. There were no answering machines, things were more intentional, and slower.

Now I look at ratings, five stars, and reviews, I am swayed by what I thought was neutral now I find out that my answers that I am getting are fashioned after my previous searches. Are we all this naive?

Unplug in the bedroom, allow the place you rest, to be restful. Making love should be a sanctuary from distraction. Leave the phone out of reach. Unless it is the pope calling from the Vatican do not take a call during sex. So simple yet it needs to be said. The people I have asked were guilty of looking at their phone or answering while in the throes of passion, must have been a less passionate moment I am imagining.

Everywhere we go we look at our phones. It is time to have some unplugging for loving. If not to show love and full attention to another perhaps to show love and attention to ourselves.

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My Mantra: “I love my phone, but I have learned to set it down and walk away”

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Katie L Lindley

Although I would like to say I am organized, focused and cookie-cutter, that simply would not be me. I am no different than any other woman in the world. I love to love, love hard, and, in the end, have learned to love myself above all else. So here I am, writing about the many men and the multiple purposes they have served in my life. Realizing that not one man on my roster had fulfilled every single one of my needs. Perhaps one man is not supposed to? I have compiled snippets of the men that have entered my world. In the end, they have shoved me towards my bathroom mirror, forcing me to take a better look at myself. Reflection is brilliant and the strongest guidepost into ourselves.

Working on the next book in the series “A House for Every Purpose, My Journey From Pillow to Pillow” revels a woman abandoning her home in search or her identity beyond men, motherhood, author.

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