“What I find most disturbing about Valentine’s Day is, look, I get that you have to have a holiday of love, but in the height of flu season, it makes no sense”. Lewis Black

Here comes cupid, doing his love thing. Kids at school exchange cards and small hearts that say it all. But how about us adults? What do we do with this timeless tradition? Do men feel under the gun to pull out the romantic stops to please their gal? Dose cupid make us feel pressured into romance?

Valentine’s Day and Mother’s Day are the two busiest days in restaurants. Reservations are made well in advance. Many a proposal will happen. The price of flowers escalates, and chocolates soar off the shelf with cupid wings carrying them to their designated love. Check, and check. Romance is in the air, even if it is stamped with the date that may seemed forced.

Many single years I was without that special one to celebrate what some may call an obligatory romantic holiday. I cried through some Valentine Days, more than once.

Then I figured out to treat myself, to remake the entire holiday. Not in a restaurant full of love couples, that would have been torturous, but rather at home with myself. Or better yet inviting single girlfriends over for wine and a romantic predictable chick flick, lovely! Even a guy friend that was also single commiserating together rather than alone, brilliant.  I learned not to hate this day, eventually. Or I’ve had to learn how to adjust to this day.

Having mixed moments with this red heart explosion day how do I make the most of what I honestly felt conflicted about? Advising myself as I write. Let it go! Leave past in the past.  Let the air out of the balloon, and avoid putting any pressure on a love partner. That is the best way to navigate day to day. Feel the love that is everywhere I turn. New couples falling in love, friends in a new loving marriage, a marriage that reconnected after months of misunderstanding, my parents that love each other after sixty-nine years. Family’s with babies that are in love. Love you can feel, love you can share, you can have in more ways than the romantic movies that shamefully influence us. Love can be a gift of a long-time friend.

I wrote a book where I kept record of my love journey. “A Man For Every Purpose My Naked Journey Searching for love”. Honestly at times painful. Within the pain eventfully came many lessons. Within the lessons came freedom of the heart. That freedom gave grace to the unlovely, and found much love inside of myself. Embracing those moments turned out to be the best thing ever.

Cupid go ahead sharpen your arrow, fearlessly take your best shot, I will not falter, nor will I have expectations.  I no longer hate you. I am sorry that I did, but we have gotten past that.

After all I am the sexlovemantra.com girl! That girl, well, she believes in love.

Therefore, thank you Valentine’s Day and all that that implies if it pushes us a wee bit closer to love. A perfect valentine gift for your single girlfriend would be the book, and some love.

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My Mantra: “I am blessed I have comes to terms with a holiday based on love”


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Katie L Lindley

Although I would like to say I am organized, focused and cookie-cutter, that simply would not be me. I am no different than any other woman in the world. I love to love, love hard, and, in the end, have learned to love myself above all else. So here I am, writing about the many men and the multiple purposes they have served in my life. Realizing that not one man on my roster had fulfilled every single one of my needs. Perhaps one man is not supposed to? I have compiled snippets of the men that have entered my world. In the end, they have shoved me towards my bathroom mirror, forcing me to take a better look at myself. Reflection is brilliant and the strongest guidepost into ourselves.

Working on the next book in the series “A House for Every Purpose, My Journey From Pillow to Pillow” revels a woman abandoning her home in search or her identity beyond men, motherhood, author.

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