“I actually think ‘Sex and the City’ helped share how complicated it all is, to be a wife, a mother, and working, and a sexual being”. Kim Cattrall

As a writer, and single girl for decades, “Sex and The City” was my hidden inspiration. My guilt free binge watching go to. I’ve yet to have the bonded friendships that was represented in the show. However, I noticed that their friendships lasted and outweighed the many relationships they experienced in search for that one true love. Many common denominators with men spread throughout all of the women. Even the character Samantha who ended up preferring emotionally unavailable men and a whole lot of sex. Unlike most gals I know that character was not looking for love.

I understood that there was no way could a columnist make the kind of money to support the shoe fashion filled life that Carrie Bradshaw seamlessly had. The magic of the big screen has to add the element of the fancy because that is what we love to see. You would never see stained torn underwear on the floor. However, that aside many life and love lessons were right there.

Carrie was not afraid to love and lose. She tried many different dating scenarios throughout the life of the show. We saw her in love, in tears, engaged, in an affair, and leaning on her girlfriends when she needed to. She was a bit of the girl next door, very thin and fashionable, yet still possessed the qualities of an approachable person. We all cheered her on as she went from love to love and even in her singlehood she made it look okay.

Guess what? It is okay. It is all right to be single and searching, it is acceptable to be dating, it is wonderful to be in love. It is fine to leave the man that is not right and not settle. Having strong friendships is family.

 Basically we can learn from our girlfriends. They have stories and tears that we can connect to. Wisdom does not always have to be our own experience we can learn from others. Wide eyed and broad shouldered it is important to embrace what our friends go through. We are all coming from a different set of shoes, not all Manolo Balhnik, yet our love life may not be so far off.

“Forgiveness is forgiveness”. From Sex and The City, the movie. This scene is where her friend begs forgiveness, yet struggle with forgiving her husband. It is super important in love and friendships to let the past be in the past and forgive. It is up to us if we want to continue that love or friendship but not forgiving can be an albatross around your neck. There is great freedom in self forgiveness and forgiveness of others, powerful stuff.

I was able to have some moments being single where I felt empowered. Going through my Carrie Bradshaw phase where I dated a lot, and unashamedly.  I channeled a little “Carrie Bradshaw” and that was just right for me at that time. I could laugh at myself and some of the dating antics I found myself in. I wrote about it much like Carrie did on the show. She inspired me for sure. I felt fearless sharing my stories in my book “A Man for Every Purpose, My Naked Journey Searching for Love”. My book is closer to flip flops and further away from Malono Blahnik’s, that was okay too. A great read available on Amazon!

My Mantra: “Life imitating art, for me birthed art, my book”

Email contact: KatieLLindley@sexlovemantra.com

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Katie L Lindley

Although I would like to say I am organized, focused and cookie-cutter, that simply would not be me. I am no different than any other woman in the world. I love to love, love hard, and, in the end, have learned to love myself above all else. So here I am, writing about the many men and the multiple purposes they have served in my life. Realizing that not one man on my roster had fulfilled every single one of my needs. Perhaps one man is not supposed to? I have compiled snippets of the men that have entered my world. In the end, they have shoved me towards my bathroom mirror, forcing me to take a better look at myself. Reflection is brilliant and the strongest guidepost into ourselves.

Working on the next book in the series “A House for Every Purpose, My Journey From Pillow to Pillow” revels a woman abandoning her home in search or her identity beyond men, motherhood, author.

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