“You are remembered for the rules you break.” Douglas Mac Arthur

Life can be predictively unpredictable.

I was young, happily married, living the dream with two beautiful children and an adoring husband, or so I thought. My husband left me for another woman.

I had to reinvent myself as a single mother.

I gave all our bedding away.

To me, it was as ruined as I thought my life was. I was symbolically buying sheets, quilt, and duvet cover all for myself. My marriage bed had to become a place of serenity for myself, not memories from a life that was no longer mine.

After years of staying away from the dating pool, I dove head first. I dated, I fell in love, and I had heartache, more break-ups, and rejection. Every damn time if it were a matter of the heart that I welcome him into my bed, I would change the bedding upon our end.

I could not rotate another man through the same sheet set. If sheets could talk, I made sure they were elsewhere. I had my linen standards, but what about my heart?

That is the tricky part. I was looking at my history and finding fault in my choices. It was clearly my love journey, but my picks became foggy and ill-chose. Did I become jaded to the point of ridiculous compromise?

I did. Did I look into my fault? I did not.

It was easier to avoid with my hands full of kids. I went day to day focused on them. It was through repeated heartache that I began my healing journey.

I carried on with love nonsense as I had a million reasons to make them the bad guy, but that game never helped me to move forward.

New bedding, no more bad guy, seemed to be the theme I was dancing to for years.

It took me a long time for me to learn about myself. If I was going to figure this love thing out, I needed to know where I was culpable. I not only wanted success in a relationship; I would not give up the fact that I could be a part of a successful marriage; I wanted a substantial partnership. I knew what I had to offer; I just needed to learn what my exit game was so I could put a stop to it. I had to learn my games. The way I wriggled out of relationships and cast blame to make me deserving of an exit. It was the story I spun for myself repeatedly until it wasn’t.

I found freedom in identifying my stuff.

Do I still love new bedding? Yes. But now,  I don’t need an ex-situation excuse to create a lux environment. I still buy new bedding, my husband doesn’t notice, but I do!

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Katie L Lindley

Although I would like to say I am organized, focused and cookie-cutter, that simply would not be me. I am no different than any other woman in the world. I love to love, love hard, and, in the end, have learned to love myself above all else. So here I am, writing about the many men and the multiple purposes they have served in my life. Realizing that not one man on my roster had fulfilled every single one of my needs. Perhaps one man is not supposed to? I have compiled snippets of the men that have entered my world. In the end, they have shoved me towards my bathroom mirror, forcing me to take a better look at myself. Reflection is brilliant and the strongest guidepost into ourselves.

Working on the next book in the series “A House for Every Purpose, My Journey From Pillow to Pillow” revels a woman abandoning her home in search or her identity beyond men, motherhood, author.

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