“Doubt thou the stars are fire, Doubt that the sun doth move. Doubt truth to be a liar, but never doubt I love.” William Shakespeare

Expectations with romantic love? It is all supposed to be perfect like the ending of a chick flick?  Easy, breezy, floating head over heels with your perfect soul mate love… Nope, not so fast.

I thought romantic love was all there was, that little to no work was involved. I watched it over and over in movies, naively embracing red wine and roses with love notes. I thought that was what love looked like, I was wrong. I was terrible, regretfully wrong.

 Love is closer to finding your best friend you want to kick around life with. Accepting one others oddity. Trying to purse your words when you really want to fly off the handle and scream. When you mentally pack your bags, because you are so very pissed. Those are the times for me when staying is brave. I am becoming brave; I am learning to be brave in love.

Marriage, partnership, dating, love, all comes with a personal price. It comes with a heart to be first in showing up for your partner.

Love is an empty vessel for you to fill.

Love can get torn down quickly with harsh words, inconsiderate behavior, boredom, deceit and all the BS that comes with being human.

Love is an agreement that you chose to fill daily. To show love to yourself and your squeeze. Mixing in positive words, affirmations, touch, acts of service, kindness, quality time, generosity. That is whatmakes and keeps a love vessel full.

 Love is far from seamless. Two people trying to live fiercely in their own skin, with their own idea’s, traditions, and thoughts. With their own background, education, love history, that equation is, guess what? … different than your partners.

Having a tough time but you don’t want to give up? Go to consoling with a qualified positive therapist. Love is not seamless. You can give up and get back on the merry go round to find yourself back in the same spot with a different partner.

That being said, sometimes love has completed its path, and to move on is in order.

As my girlfriend in Maui says, “We all have to figure out our own shit”. I say if you can do that you can love harder. If you can be vulnerable with yourself, your vessel can be a bit larger and love can tumble out.

Tall order? For sure. Love is figuring it out to keep it full.

My Mantra: “Love can be as complicated as we chose.”


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Katie L Lindley

Although I would like to say I am organized, focused and cookie-cutter, that simply would not be me. I am no different than any other woman in the world. I love to love, love hard, and, in the end, have learned to love myself above all else. So here I am, writing about the many men and the multiple purposes they have served in my life. Realizing that not one man on my roster had fulfilled every single one of my needs. Perhaps one man is not supposed to? I have compiled snippets of the men that have entered my world. In the end, they have shoved me towards my bathroom mirror, forcing me to take a better look at myself. Reflection is brilliant and the strongest guidepost into ourselves.

Working on the next book in the series “A House for Every Purpose, My Journey From Pillow to Pillow” revels a woman abandoning her home in search or her identity beyond men, motherhood, author.

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