“Whenever I date a guy, I think, ‘Is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?” Rita Rudner
When meeting on a blind date, bring your best self and best manors. What I mean by manors is do not order anything more expensive than they do, especially if they are picking up the tab. Keep your napkin in your lap, and be polite with your words and body language. This is a first meeting to see if you click with conversation and commonalities. Have fun and stay light. This is not a time to drag ex’s in as a fresh topic.
Always meet at a public place, this stranger that could be your next love. Never leave your drink alone; date rape drug is real and very much a thing. Let a friend know who you are meeting and where. Let him earn your trust. Google what you can about him; if you can find nothing at all, question that! Facebook and other sites should give you an idea that he is who he says he is. Don’t be naïve be safe.
I knew of a gal that fell for a charmer. She became pregnant to find out after that he had another family in a different state. He split, leaving her alone with a special needs child, ghastly. Her grown children were not pleased with the hapless choices their mother made.
If your first meeting is not an absolute no, stick with a go. Make a second date to see further your potential connection. Show up as yourself but bring your best behavior. If you are both looking for a serious relationship, it is worth taking your time.
One guy at a time. We can easily get tripped up with too many choices in the online world of dating. It is human nature to be distracted by the next date with the next person. If you just focus on one at a time, you will be less likely to make a snap decision on what could be a lovely connection.
What if, after the second date, you feel a friendship forming? Go for it! A new friend is always welcome, notably if you are both looking for a long-term relationship.
My husband and I became friends first. It took off the pressure that can accompany dating. We had a blast. We’d talk for hours on end and went to events as buddies. I told him of my dating antics, and he told me of his. It was a couple of months of friendship before we decided it was more. That worked out well for us as we are now pretty much in lockstep figuring out our marriage; pretty cool.
If you like him more than he likes, you tap out. You will never change his mind; no tricks or texts, or surprise meetings will sway him. If it is clear he is not that into you, run! Question why you wanted the unavailable. That is the most important thing to do; if you put yourself in this situation, it is time to figure out why that is what you are choosing.
Love is worth pushing towards at every age. The human connection is a powerful thing that we can learn to grow, one that challenges us and ultimately finds us partnered. For that, we are blessed.
My Mantra: “Show up. You never know who will be across from you”