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“Every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end.” Sneca
Boundaries in relationships vary from couple to couple. There are some things I would never put up with and other things I let easily slide. I know a couple where it was a half-open relationship; she had the freedom to be with other people, he chose not to. They finally are going their separate ways as what he felt marriage looked like, and her idea of marriage was very different.
Cheat or beat. Any man that would lie about being with someone else is out for me. I have known that moment; I have lived through this type of man. Our ending was a painful divorce from his wandering ways. My husband was too weak to tell me, talk about it, to be honest. He also fell in love with his mistress, well, yippy for them. Ultimately, she could put up with his extra activities where it would not fly with me. They have proven the test of time, and I genuinely wish them well.
Any man in anger who hits a woman is out, no second chances. Remember Nicole Simson? Abuse does not discriminate. Physical violence or abuse should never accept an apology. It is time to find a safe place away from a man that has that capability. The bad day, loss of job, fear of losing you, jealousy, too much booze are not excuses to hit. No tear-filled apology the next day with the most loving man on earth. That is a pattern never to get caught up in. Uh, yes, Nicole Simson!
A wonderful girlfriend of mine continued with the high of it all. She put makeup over her black and blue while hoping it would get better. She would fight back at times, only to come out on the raw end of that deal. It took a great deal for her to pull herself together and leave him for good. She then did work on herself, never to allow such violence back into her life. She now is with a calm, quiet man who adores her.
It is terrifying to report physical abuse to the police. In the first place, most women feel responsible in some twisted, confused way. No one should take an angry hand to you ever. I understand the terror of reporting to the police and then fearing for your life. It is a story played out everywhere, in every town and every zip code. Me too is real, and speaking out takes courage. Reaching out to local churches or women’s shelters should be safe in a world that wants to help. We need to speak up and help our fellow sisters to be able to begin again in a healthy way.
We need to help the abusers learn to manage their temper and heal from the abuse they suffered from. Knowing their issues should never become ours.
I may not be the one to address this subject because it has not been a part of my journey. Yet I have heard too much, I have seen too much, and from a place, I will never understand, I understand too much. I am a feeler an empath, and I seek to help others to let all know you are not alone. This world is made up of many, and it is our process of healing, doing better, knowing better that will lead us on a different path.