“Nothing will work unless you do.” Maya Angelou

Meeting someone organically is ideal. However, if you really want love in your life, you have to go out and take chances after you get yourself in order!

Here are five things you can do to move towards a long-term relationship.

1) Look for a Partnership, not a Romance. Romance and love-bombing can be all that: delicious, fun, fast, but ultimately short-fused. When looking for lasting love, adjust from the glitz and sparkle to building a friendship. Talk it out rather than bouncing off of new sheets. Pacing yourself holds more intrigue, and with the right guy is more appealing, a bit of a chase. He will sleep with you right away, but if you want to build. Create some build-up around sex.
2) Take time to be by yourself. Know what your deal is. Rushing from one dude to the next, you understand that deal. Do you want to keep repeating what is not working? Step out of the familiar and try to approach love in a whole new way. Study your love history; this is the best road map to travel a new route.
3) You have to be open from the inside. Make sure your personal roadblocks have been removed. We have all been on a love-seeking journey, making some questionable choices. It is possible that very history may leave us scarred. Clear the way to love by healing those scars. Don’t show up with war wounds and sad stories. Finding love should be fun. Work through your stuff to be actually ready for the right match. Happy people attract happy people. Dress up and feel good about yourself. What you wear is not half as impactful as how you feel about yourself. That is what shows light off an energy field; I dare you. If that sounds strange, I get it. But I swear you can attract people just by lighting up. Self-love and self-confidence are a sexy win-win.

4) Do what you love, and be who you are. If you are doing what you love, it will show. Even if you are just sharing your interests, that outa light you up! Be interested in what you love to do. Show interest in what your new friend shares with you. Show interest, be interested, have interests, check, check. It is about connecting. Go where people like the same things you like.

5) Be willing to meet new people and have rules around first online dates. You cannot expect to meet new people locked inside your house ordering food to be delivered to your door. Don’t bank that your next love-to-be will be the delivery guy. You have to make an effort and go out. LOOK UP FROM YOUR PHONE. At that moment, someone may show up. Be where you are. It’s pretty simple, but our phones can be distracting. When you’re done reading this, put on some lip gloss and smile. Love is possible at every age if you make yourself possible.

Always be wise when you meet strangers. Google them and do your research to ensure that they are who they say they are. Be open but weary; your gut instinct can serve you if something feels off- it is every time. Remember what Oprah learned from Mya Angelou: When people show you who they are, believe them. Don’t try to change someone; move along. Having a friend know where you are and who you are with is a must for turning strangers into trusted friends.

My Mantra:”Go out and get it; you can have love!”

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Katie L Lindley

Although I would like to say I am organized, focused and cookie-cutter, that simply would not be me. I am no different than any other woman in the world. I love to love, love hard, and, in the end, have learned to love myself above all else. So here I am, writing about the many men and the multiple purposes they have served in my life. Realizing that not one man on my roster had fulfilled every single one of my needs. Perhaps one man is not supposed to? I have compiled snippets of the men that have entered my world. In the end, they have shoved me towards my bathroom mirror, forcing me to take a better look at myself. Reflection is brilliant and the strongest guidepost into ourselves.

Working on the next book in the series “A House for Every Purpose, My Journey From Pillow to Pillow” revels a woman abandoning her home in search or her identity beyond men, motherhood, author.

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