CAN YOUR HUSBAND BE TRAINED?

“Being a good husband is like being a good stand-up comic – you need ten years before you can even call yourself a beginner.” Jerry Seinfeld
Can your husband be trained?

It would be easy to say a hard and fast no, but there are more nuances of partnership that can be considered.

“Train your husband” is a catchphrase that refers to gradually shaping or influencing a husband’s/partner’s behavior and habits that drive you crazy. Magically influencing your partner through gentle guidance and positive reinforcement, like a dog with a cookie, rather than criticism or demands.

Nagging will drive him further away. If you find yourself nagging your guy, listen to the sound of your voice and stop; no one will respond positively to that.

The concept of being able to train your man suggests that a wife/partner can encourage her husband to develop desirable qualities or break gross habits over time, in a similar way one might “train” a pet through reward-based methods. However, the phrase is controversial as it can imply an unequal power dynamic or lack of mutual intelligence or respect in general.

Truly, the most empowering step you can take in your marriage is to make your own happiness a priority. By focusing on your own joy, you’ll find yourself more content, more understanding, and generally more at peace. This self-care isn’t selfish but a vital part of nurturing a healthy relationship. If you’re unsure where to start, try writing down each morning what brings you joy. Keep doing this until you have a clear picture of what that looks like, and remember, this journey is about you, not him.
What annoys you in your marriage? Does your husband come home and start gaming, ignoring you and the kids? Does he not take out the trash? Or forget to write the bills? Does he plan guy’s trips and expect you to plan romantic getaways? Does he drop his clothes everywhere and expect the laundry fairy to show up and pick up after him? Thank his mom for that one. The list goes on and on.

Well, we know not to nag. That will only bring division in your partnership. Don’t do that.

We know to find our own happiness. Your husband is not responsible for making you happy; that is on you.

Surround yourself with positive friends who like their partners. Friends can lift you up or drag you down, so pay attention to who you spend time with.

The results may be that you evolve into a strong, sexy, joyful wife your man will want to spend time with. You have tapped into your empowering female energy finding your own bliss, very sexy. His annoying habits seem to decrease, but you are so strong in your groove that you are doing what makes you happy, and that becomes more important.

My husband knows exactly how to make himself happy and never apologizes for the time he spends doing his things. He takes care of his happiness; he has learned to meditate, do yoga, and spend time in nature, beaches, or mountains, which brings him joy. I can become jealous of his no-nonsense, selfish approach to his needs, but instead, he sets an example for me to pursue what brings me joy.

You can make a list of what annoys you or what you are grateful for. Where your energy and thoughts go, so goes your marriage.

I wrote about my love journey and the many hiccups I had to bring me to where I am. “A Man for Every Purpose, My Naked Journey Searching for Love” is a witty, charming read, chalked full of lessons.
Have you been able to train your man? Leave a note and let me know!

My Mantra: “The most important relationship you have is the one with yourself.”