HAVE YOU BECOME THE ‘PICK-ME-GIRL?’ DESPERATELY DATING…

“I’ve been dating since I was fifteen. I’m exhausted. Where is he?” Kristin Davis

You never thought you would become that girl, but in a search for love (and your required love list), that is just who you have become.

You didn’t want to connect the dots about how you got there but are sticking with the fact that this guy is so dreamy. He is kind, thoughtful, and sexy, can throw down in the bedroom, and loves dogs and his mother!
You have contorted yourself to fit into his world. You are going to baseball games, and you have never liked baseball. Monster truck rallies; you don’t know what to wear at that event, but you bounce yourself into it with glee. You are dressing to please him, trying to win over his friends, and obsessing about him day and night.
It has to be him. You know it; you feel it. He is the one he has to be! Your endless search has ended… but wait. Not so fast. He is keeping you at arm’s length. The closer you seem to get, the further away from you he becomes. It is the pull-away routine you don’t want to admit.

You have officially become the “Pick Me, Girl!”

How did that happen? You let it.

I have tried to ‘win over’ men by embracing the ‘pick me role.’ Those men who flat-out told me they were not into me. I would not hear it. I get what I want, dammit, and they, those men, would not be my exception. If you read the story of my love journey, you will understand that people show you and tell you who they are. Thank you, Maya Angelou. I was too stubborn, too spoiled, too determined. That folly led me to fall on my face and adhere to that timeless message. My highway of love is scattered with useless efforts and massive failed attempts.

Through trial and dating error, I now know my worth. I require and get respect for just that. It took me a long time, several men, and heartbreak to get to that point.

I understand everyone has a process for finding love and embracing classic lessons. Somewhere along the line, I reached the point where I knew I did not need a man. Compromise was in my back mirror and would stay there. I embraced the single life I created. I found freedom in being alone; I could do it with completeness.

In the same breath, I also realized that I wanted to be a partner equally as much as to have a partner. Guess what? That was the moment I found a partner, friend, and more. I gave up an energetic compromise as my confidence grew, and bam! I manifested the right man.

Simple? No damn way. Every bit of life is worth it when we learn and grow. After all, when I grow up, I want to be me. Not some man’s version of their program, of what they wish me to be, but full-blown certifiably me.

That is a good thing because that is who I go to bed with and wake up with every day. That is who I need to hold accountable and who can make a difference and help others. Me in me is a work in progress, but I will not give up that job because, as the hair commercial once says, “I am worth it.”