“You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself in any direction you choose. You’re on your own, and you know what you know. And you are the guy who’ll decide where to go.” Dr. Seuss

In your 20s, the dating pool was EVERYONE. A couple of decades later, it shrinks substantially. Dating becomes someone’s recycled hand-me-downs. Options are fewer, but the good news is that we have learned a thing or two.

You know who you are and have learned from your past mistakes. You will not put up with bad behavior and no longer crave the wild bad boy. He was fun, but now you are done.

1) Be good with being alone. Only date if you want to. That takes the pressure off and makes you automatically exclusive. You do not need a man; you would like one, but they are an option for you. You are independent but would love to have a partnership. This attitude is very sexy, slightly elusive, and most desirable!

2) Set your pace. When you meet a guy you may like, don’t go right for the sheets. The man’s impression of you will be that you dish it out for all men. Don’t be an appetizer. Have them wait for dessert as long as it is right for you. Find out if he is worthy of your nakedness. Sex can be a powerful bonding if you both really like each other, filled with vulnerability and truth, eye contact can bond you; see it as a love tool. Do you want to be cherished? Cherish yourself.

3) Let your past stay in the past. Your history can be a great guideline for you, but don’t have your stories of dating horror lead the beginning of new possible love. Keep your interest focused on what interests you now and what he is interested in. Set boundaries to keep you both in the present and where you need to be in the now.

4) Stay true to yourself. Do not shrink to fit into his land, his world, or his friend group. Know who you are and what you like. Blend together rather than contorting yourself to what you think is the perfect guy. If you have to shrink, he is the wrong size.

5) Embrace rejection. If he passes you up for someone else, so be it. Rejection is the ultimate protection. You are worthy of a strong partnership standing on the top of the mountain. Allow yourself only a moment to feel the sting of rejection because knowing he was the wrong guy or it was the wrong time should hold greater value.

I have dated and dated more. I wrote a book about some of the mistakes I have made and the journey that has led me to my hopefully finally of love and marriage.

I have been with the bad guy, the young guy, the loser guy, the ego guy, the mean guy. It was fun at the time but exhausting and filled with heartache. To be honest, it started to age me in a sad way. I have learned the hard lessons and am here for you now. Love is possible at every age. There are men everywhere, do not have a limited mindset. Dial your energy to see possibilities because that will draw in possibilities.

I am no different from you. I am just a girl trying to figure out love. I am now married, and figuring it out is still a part of life, as it should be.

My Mantra: “Love is something to go for; even on the longest days, life is short, go towards love”

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Katie L Lindley

Although I would like to say I am organized, focused and cookie-cutter, that simply would not be me. I am no different than any other woman in the world. I love to love, love hard, and, in the end, have learned to love myself above all else. So here I am, writing about the many men and the multiple purposes they have served in my life. Realizing that not one man on my roster had fulfilled every single one of my needs. Perhaps one man is not supposed to? I have compiled snippets of the men that have entered my world. In the end, they have shoved me towards my bathroom mirror, forcing me to take a better look at myself. Reflection is brilliant and the strongest guidepost into ourselves.

Working on the next book in the series “A House for Every Purpose, My Journey From Pillow to Pillow” revels a woman abandoning her home in search or her identity beyond men, motherhood, author.

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