“Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place.” Billy Crystal

Men are simple, I am sorry, but they are. They have a fundamental need to hunt, take care of business, and make sure all are safe in their cave.

If you throw yourself on the plate and offer yourself up like a free meal, your new guy will think that you do that for all men. “She is easy with me right now, yippy, but with all the other guys too, uh, seconds.” You might say, “I never do this on the first date”; no man will ever buy that. Those hunting men will partake in that meal but will not so much as return a phone call.

What is she doing wrong? I mean, she liked every moment of their first date. It is lovey, and she wants to show him how special she is in the sack and what passions she can bring on.

It is simple, a woman’s sexuality is not a commodity; she does not value herself. He understands that and readily moves on to a woman that knows what she is worth.

I am not suggesting you make a naked rule or hold out like a dangling carrot. I am suggesting that you find out what is not working and value yourself as a woman as a whole.

We are not just lovers; we are strong, we are partners, we are fun and funny, and we are not just strangers who roll in the hay.

If the said girl just gives it away, that is her choice, and she has every right to do so. However, this behavior does not include illicit a long-term relationship. If she just wants to romp around town, by all means, go romping, but do not complain to me that you cannot find a boyfriend and all guys are jerks. It is you, not them.

There are plenty of jerks and nice guys out there. However, most guys will take advantage of a naked woman throwing herself at them, getting caught up in that moment.

How about the said girl who says she wants a boyfriend but repeats the same behavior, leading her to the same disappointment?

I think there comes a time when we have to figure out our relationship patterns. We can look at our history and see what has occurred. What worked? Where it failed. We will have patterns of behavior for the rest of our lives. It is a matter of recognizing what is unhealthy and acknowledging one’s part to shift to a healthier outcome.

Easy? No, but neither is having quick and dirty sex just to complain they are not chasing after you. Of course, they are not; they don’t need to.

Learn better, do better, and hold your value higher. Have fun meeting men as friends and find a friendship that will carry you through to more.

My Mantra: “My blog features Sex, Love, and Mantra, vital components in life.”

Share This Story, Choose Your Platform!

Katie L Lindley

Although I would like to say I am organized, focused and cookie-cutter, that simply would not be me. I am no different than any other woman in the world. I love to love, love hard, and, in the end, have learned to love myself above all else. So here I am, writing about the many men and the multiple purposes they have served in my life. Realizing that not one man on my roster had fulfilled every single one of my needs. Perhaps one man is not supposed to? I have compiled snippets of the men that have entered my world. In the end, they have shoved me towards my bathroom mirror, forcing me to take a better look at myself. Reflection is brilliant and the strongest guidepost into ourselves.

Working on the next book in the series “A House for Every Purpose, My Journey From Pillow to Pillow” revels a woman abandoning her home in search or her identity beyond men, motherhood, author.

Join Sex•Love•Mantra Newsletter!

Monthly Dating Stories and Advice

Thank you for your continued love and support